Fear

So now that I got the nonsense out of my system there's been something going on that I feel would better me if I got out. So without further ado....
I'd like to thin that I've never been the type of person to be embarrassed by fear, being scared is a completely natural reaction to life. Lately I think I've been embarrassed about the fears I feel, and as a result I might be doing some stupid things. My fear is of a number. I think many people have been scared of numbers before, so its nothing new, but no one really likes to really let on about it. Now not all of these stupid things are really all that bad, some of them are harmless and funny, but the reason behind them is the same. That damn fear.
Its strange to think about numbers ganging up on you, that they can get together with other feelings and amplify to such an extent. But there they are, making loneliness seem much more real, failure magnified beyond previous ideals. And then here comes regret and of course he has something to say about it all. Never liked him much, so id don't really listen all that much. And of course there's the big one, the black shroud, we won't talk about that one.
But fuck that number, I can still play the game, I just have to be smarter about it. If you've got shit to do the next day you can't drink the whiskey. And lets kick the cigarettes for reals this time, you did it for awhile, don't let that stupid number scare you into smoking more.
I don't know, that's just life I suppose. Everyone's has to deal with it there own way. Maybe I'm just being to arty, and whiney. Little bitch? Eh?
On to bigger and better, let the numbers do there best. I'll still complain and fight them the whole way.
Stupid numbers